9 choices for even calmer and bolder conversations
Over the past few months, we've all felt uncomfortable in new ways – from navigating the pandemic's unknowns to making (and communicating) difficult business decisions to unconscious prejudice and important race conversations – there's no doubt that we do have come out of our comfort zones in a new way. If you are like me, I am determined to push these lessons forward and urge you to take the discomfort even further. If you chose an additional chutzpah in your communication, where could you concentrate your energies?
Here are 9 ways to build bolder conversations:
1. Have the tough conversations you intended.
Many of us have important thoughts that remain unspoken – conversations that would be valuable. Addressing problems in advance is the only way to prevent everyday speed fluctuations from causing major problems. Empathically tell people what they need to hear, not what they want to hear to appease a situation. It is often over tough talks that we build relationships and strengthen bonds.
2. Stop talking and listen more.
We know what we think personally. The real chance is to know what others are thinking. People act to support their interests. So we have to understand where they come from. The more you know about how someone else thinks, the easier it will be to understand where they come from and to achieve common ground. The answer: Stop talking. Literally. The most effective leaders spend most of their time observing, asking questions, absorbing, and listening.
3. Pick up the handset or join a video conference to actually speak to someone.
Don't let email, instant messaging, and other forms of electronic communication interfere with human interaction. Challenge yourself to pick up the phone twice a day, especially if you have employees who work remotely. If you can't walk through the halls at a safe distance, schedule time for group or one-on-one video meetings without an agenda to maintain human connection with your colleagues or teams. Some of our customers host a virtual video chat room where employees can come and go as they please. If this is the case in your company, take the time to stop by occasionally to “walk through the halls”. in a virtual environment.
4. Ask what you need to be successful.
To get what you want – in life or at work – you need to be able to articulate your needs and be positive for yourself. If a deadline is unrealistic, ask for more time for quality work? If you miss background information on a project, do you politely insist on a briefing before starting work? It may be easier to remain silent, but being confident shows that you respect yourself and others.
5. Communicate bad news in the same way and with the same enthusiasm as good news.
It's easy to communicate when the times are good or when you have good news to share. When the news is bad, there is often a tendency to wait for communication or not to communicate at all. You might feel that if you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist. As you wait for communication, the information vacuum fills up. It is human nature to make interpretations – right or wrong – without information. Tell employees what you know, if you know it. That is all they expect.
6. Ask for feedback.
Everyone needs feedback. Learn to say the following: "I am constantly working on leading better and would appreciate your feedback. Can you give me a skill that I can do well and an area where I can be even better?" Listen Close them down, ask questions, and thank the person for their perspective. Resist the urge to be defensive, which will surely prevent you from getting honest feedback in the future. If people can't think of anything at the moment, leave them not off the hook, suggest that you contact them and then do it, take their feedback to heart and try some of the suggested ideas, and if the feedback works, contact the person who suggested it and thank them.
7. Work on your blind spot.
We all have blind spots. In our personal lives, our spouses or best friends tell us what we need to hear, and in some ways they know us better than we do. We also have blind spots in our leadership. Make sure you have a "fortune teller" or two at work who can help you if you get in your way and don't notice.
8. Involve employees as decision-makers.
Tap your employees to plan and solve problems. Probably, the people closest to a problem already have ideas to solve the problem. Employees support what they create. Ask and involve them.
9. Don't forget the basics.
Always speak the truth without exception. Share the big picture first. It helps everyone to start with the same knowledge base. Address the basic questions that employees have first – who, what, where, when, why and how. Please say and thank you. Communicate the "why" constantly to make measures meaningful. Always answer the question "What does it do for me?" and "Why should I care?" Tell people what to do and help them do it. Ask questions so you can hear employee opinions. If you don't know the answer, say so.
How can you have more calm and courageous conversations?
– David Grossman
Click below to download your free copy of the eBook – 8 Ways to Lead with Heart in Times of Uncertainty and Change – and 8 Key Strategies to Lead and Communicate with Your Employees to Motivate Your Employees and motivate and improve performance and get results.
