How To Use Snappy Zingers To Write An Efficient Dialogue
Dialogue is an integral part of storytelling. We all know our characters speak to express themselves, and effective dialogue tells a lot more than just the information conveyed – it also reveals your character's personality, level of knowledge, and their current status in the story.
But do you find that sometimes your characters keep booming without reaching a point? Or that it takes a lot of words to get to the only idea you want to get to? Or maybe you sometimes lose control of the exchange and don't know how to lead the conversation.
The problem is usually that there is too much "fluff" in your dialogue. Fluffy dialogues slow the story down and bore the reader. But do not be afraid; There are a few easy ways to fix this.
The Zinger
In reality, people tend to say lots of extra words. This may surprise (surely I did) that the way to create "realistic" dialogue in written fiction is to not write the way people speak in real life. In fiction, the fewer words are used, the more realistic the dialogue sounds.
One way to drive this point home is to use "zingers". A zinger is a sharp, wise remark. It could be a snappy comeback, an insult, or just a funny comment.
Consider this scene: your two characters are trapped in a desperate situation and are trying to open a puzzle lock to escape from their prison. Neither character knows the answer and over time the tension between them increases. They try to show their growing despair and frustration with one another. You write the dialog as follows:
A: Do you know what you are doing?
B: You don't know what you're doing either!
A: Maybe we should try the tool again.
B: You already know this won't work!
A: Well we run out of time!
B: I know that!
This exchange is fine. It shows that both characters are upset and desperate.
And yet, in a situation where time is running out, this exchange seems to slow the pace. Your characters don't have to spend a lot of time talking about the tool not working or that time is running out. Instead, a snappy comment can communicate the stress they are under.
A: Do you know what you are doing?
B: DO YOU?
Now there is no question that they are stressed, rushed, and frustrated. Not only are zingers efficient, but they can also be fun to read and communicate with some cleverness about your characters.
Less is more
Effective dialogue is more than just the words spoken. The exposure in between can also contribute to the "fluffiness". The key to making a dialogue snappy and enjoyable is knowing all the places where the excess can be reduced.
Let's take the following:
Miriam watched me help Penny into her dress. I could tell by the way she pursed her lips that she didn't agree. Miriam never approved of anything I did.
"You chose green?" she asked in an annoying voice.
"Yes, I chose green," I replied.
“You know green is for. . . Women with a bad reputation. “I knew she meant whores.
"Well," I said sarcastically, straightening Penny's dress. "I wouldn't ask you about that."
You can get a lot of information from this exchange. The women don't understand each other. They never got along. They sniff at each other. They disagree on the dress.
The conversation is tense, but there are also unnecessary meanders. Some things need not be specified (I could say she disagrees) if they are already shown in the dialog. By pulling out dialogues and tags, you can remove the drama and intensity of a situation.
Let's try this instead of having all of these extra words:
I helped Penny into her dress. Miram pursed his lips.
"Green?" She asked.
"Green."
"Green is for whores."
I wasn't even surprised by her. "You would know."
With a fraction of the words, both the conversation and the scene are intensified. You immediately feel the tension between the women without having to wade through a bunch of "fluffy" words.
Don't be afraid of your characters getting straight to the point. Your story will feel tighter and stronger.
Having trouble writing a close dialogue? Let us know in the comments.
WORK OUT
To practice writing quick dialog, write a short segment in which two characters are talking. It can be a variety of scenarios – a discussion, an argument, a confession of love, an interrogation, etc.
First, write the conversation how you'd like and find out what the characters are talking about. Don't take more than ten minutes to do this – it doesn't have to be complicated.
Then rewrite the same segment for the next five minutes, taking out unnecessary information, and getting your characters to go straight to the discussion point. Use zinger if necessary.
Do share your two versions in the comments and don't forget to leave feedback for your colleagues!
J. D. Edwin
